


The Contest

by Seeka



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Belching, Bodily Functions, Burping, Gen, Humor, Ridiculous, Silly, belching contest, burping contest, dudes being dudes, twist - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 05:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14513982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seeka/pseuds/Seeka
Summary: After a long day smashed between two even longer nights, Noctis and companions spend an entire day resting at Mynbraum Haven. As the quiet of the wilderness sinks in, Noctis releases a grand belch, and it goes downhill from there.





	The Contest

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a silly idea I had, but I think it's realistic with camaraderie these four men build in the game. It's a silly but fun and hopefully funny fic that I hope you all enjoy.
    
    
    Noctis splattered onto Mynbraum's haven ground, Prompto falling in beside him. It was all they could do, having spent the night before last on a daemon hunt, the day after that exploring, and _another_ night with daemons playing keep away with the Regalia.
    
    "Camp. Caaaaaaaammmp!" It looked like Prompto was embracing the ground, with his arms and legs splayed and outstretched.
    
    Breathing in the smell of the ground, Noctis relaxed, becoming one with the stony haven earth. "Camp."
    
    A sigh fell upon Ignis' lips. Though tired as everyone else Ignis had a reserve of energy specifically for showing displeasure.  "You two realize we have yet to build said camp?"
    
    With what energy was left in his body, Noctis raised his left arm and motioned to the area around him. "Just build camp around us. Actually, just pitch the tent right on top of our bodies."
    
    Managing to lift his head a few inches of the ground Prompto turned barely open eyes at Ignis and said "Dead bodies." before returning to his splayed corpse position.
    
    Another exasperated breath passed by Ignis' lips, and he knelt, plying his fingers underneath the sleep-deprived crown prince, and proceeded to try and pry his limp form off the ground.
    
    Chuckling while building camp, Gladio taunted. "Lift with your legs Iggy!"
    
    "Thanks Gladio." Rolling his eyes, Ignis moved to to the much lighter Prompto. Down on his his knees, Ignis tried to spatula Prompto, without any success. Not a budge from either of the young men.
    
    "Just let them rest Iggy. They deserve it." Legs spread out, a book in his hand, and a root beer in the other, Gladio looked rather relaxed himself. Only the chairs of the camp were set up. Everything else sat haphazardly beside him.
    
    Staring at three men he was burdened to mother, Ignis just shrugged towards the sky, sitting in the chair beside Gladio. Peace and quiet for once. No running around fetching silly things or escaping the jaws of some awful beast.
    
    Rather intentionally, the day became one of rest and relaxation. Long baths were taken in the nearby river, Prompto sent with Noctis who had trouble staying awake in the lukewarm waters. Dinner turned into a languid process, meats smoked and slow-cooked over a low flame, the savory scent even rousing Noctis from his coma. When not joining the crown prince of narcolepsy in a nap, Prompto was taking photographs within a safe-distance and Gladio read between bouts of exercise. A few times, Noctis even managed to awake from his death nap to fish, Prompto following eagerly with his camera.
    
    After a dinner of smoked meats, creamy mashed potatoes, and fire roasted vegetables, and a dessert of mixed berry chiffon cake, The four of them just relaxed. Finally fully awake, Noctis enjoy plainly lazing. Just leaning back, staring upwards at the sky, a melding of pink, purple and blue. He slugged back one of the root beers they bought back in Lestallum.
    
    The blast of air left his lips so suddenly, and echoed violently scaring off nearby birds. It even scared Noctis, the belch such a surprise. Covering his lips with his hands, Noctis' eyes flicked back and forth between everyone taking in their expressions. He was about to say excuse me, when Prompto decided to make everything worse.
    
    "Nice one!" A thumbs up was given, Prompto beaming with pride.
    
    Rubbing the back of his head, Noctis found himself bashful and embaressed. This wasn't the sort of thing he had done before. "Umm... Thanks." A silly little smile found his way onto his lips. Noctis guessed it was because Prompto's joy was utterly contagious, even if was over silly things.
    
    Another fierce burp quaked the air around them, this time expulsed by Gladio. Both Prompto and Noctis turned to meet a smug and arrogant face.
    
    "Beat that Prince."  That cocky smirk just invited Noctis to a contest of prowess. Burping prowess.
    
    "Gladly." Noctis smirked back, approaching Gladio who stood, and loomed over Noctis.
    
    Pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head, Ignis knew now, there was no stopping the two of them. Competitions between Gladio and Noctis grew fierce, and drove them.
    
    Chest to chest, neither of them really backing down, they started. First was Noctis, releasing a short burp powered by the fizz of root beer bubbling in his stomach. That smirk on Gladio's face grew, as if he was facing someone far less skilled than he was. Following Noctis, Gladio belched, the product only just slightly longer than Noctis'. Obvious to anyone, Gladio purposefully held back, if his stupid arrogant grin was any indication.
    
    "You're holding back." Casual, an accusation flung true and like it was nothing. All competitions, no matter how silly, were always serious. Noctis preferred to be taken seriously.
    
    Gladio rolled his amber eyes, that smug smirk on his face. "You got a handicap."
    
    Face scrunched up and left eye twitching slightly, Noctis planted his two fingers into Gladio's chest. "Take me seriously." The demand was growled out.
    
    "You couldn't handle me being serious."
    
    "Try me."
    
    Air in the surrounding atmosphere grew tense, Gladio's chest rising and falling with his intense gulping, Noctis' adams apple bouncing with his soda chugging. As their stances changed, both prepared to release the biggest burp of their lives, a belch, of a higher pitch was released. Cutesy, almost, but it was loud, and sorta log, and had erupted from Prompto, who waved to Noctis and Gladio who turned to look at him.
    
    "Oops, I didn't mean to do that." Prompto made a few cute, humble chuckles. Then his thin yellow brows lifted and he rubbed the back of his floof. "But now that I'm involved... I have no intentions of losing."
    
    As Prompto joined in, his higher octave burps joining in on the mixed chorus of belches, Ignis rubbed the bridge of his noise. "Dear Astrals, why are these three the ones I am to care for?"
    
    At the tailend of a long belch, Gladio forcefully covered his mouth, muffling himself.
    
    "Awww... what's wrong Gladio?" Taunts from Noctis, who was folding his fingers towards himself, "saying bring it on".
    
    Angrily, Gladio wiped his lips. "I almost threw up."
    
    "That's nasty." Prompto belchspoke, showing his skill in something other than raw burps.
    
    "That's rich coming from someone who can speak in burp." Still reeling from the sudden forceful near upheaval, Gladio stared at his hand, making sure he hadn't actually vomited.
    
    One of those few rare, confident grins shown itself on Prompto's face before he spoke entirely while belching. "I take it someone is jelly?"
    
    "You talk really big for someone really tiny."
    
    That confident grin transferred on Noctis' face now. "The bigger they are, the harder they," a nice, hard pound on his own chest, "fall!" and Noctis burpspoke like Prompto.
    
    Taking well to losing wasn't Gladio's thing, and it was showing on his face. "What am I now, Titan?"
    
    "Yeah kinda." Noctis and Prompto said simultaneously.
    
    An eyebrow was raised. "When did this suddenly become a team event?"
    
    "When you almost threw up!" Prompto and Noctis both laughed, and even Ignis snickered from his place near the fire.
    
    Raising his fist, Gladio grew that smug confident look again. "I can beat both of you any day of the week!"
    
    "Bring it on!"
    
    There was a singular moment in all of that where Ignis thought he was going to have a bit of peace and normalcy. Like many times before he had been swiftly proven wrong. Situations where he had been proven wrong grew worse as well, and this belching contest was no exception. Every eruption grew louder and longer and the ganging up on Gladio ended as Prompto accidentally ripped a belch into Noctis' face. If there was an actual judge to any of these proceedings, Prompto would've been coming out the clear winner. With only a singular root beer left, Noctis was forced to burp sparingly and timingly. Occassionally he rubbed his stomach as well, probably bloated from drinking five full glass bottles of root beer. Gladio might've won, if he didn't insist on dragging out his eructations till they piddled out and made him almost vomit. With some skill, Prompto knew exactly where to stop, and like Gladio, he could swallow and gulp down air for his belches.
    
    This loud cacophony eventually brought on the attention of beasts. At first they paid no attention, but it grew louder, and the monsters, began to circle the haven, never daring its blue stone.
    
    "... Company." The announcement was blunt, and cut off the entire contest easily as Ignis nodded to the interlopers. Sahagin and seadevils. 
    
    "Aw man!"
    
    "I was winning."
    
    "No you weren't."
    
    Taking a moment to clean his glasses, Ignis made a light tsking sound. "May we pay attention to the matter at hand?"
    
    Taking in full view of the monsters, they were weak in comparison to the daemons from the night before, and could be easily routed.
    
    "How about Noct and me snipe them from up here while you guys handle them on the ground?" Prompto suggested, guns materializing in his hands. Playfully, he span around them on his fingers like a real showman.
    
    "I like that idea." Guns materialized in Noctis' hands, and he imitated Prompto, even adding in a real Leide cowboy stride in his walk. "Better shoot these rogue varmints down!"
    
    "At your order Marshall Noctis!" Prompto mocked fired his guns. "Bang, bang, bang!"
    
    Slightly mocking laughter from Gladio."Both of you are such dorks."
    
    "Let them have their fun." Irony was one Ignis' fortes. "They may be weak, but never underestimate the enemy!"
    
    "Right!"
    
    The amphibian beasts were rather quickly dispatched without much fanfare or strategy, and the silence immediately returned to the quiet campside. Ignis took it in, for in a few moments, everything would shatter into pieces. He knew it and it didn't take clairvoyance.
    
    "I was winning."
    
    There it was.
    
    "Sure, prince, sure. Crown Prince of Burping you are."
    
    "Um... guys...?"
    
    "I'll show you crown prince of burping!"
    
    "I think I was winning."
    
    Right after Prompto's rather meek declaration followed a raucous, loud, earth quaking belch that didn't come from any of the the three men involved in the contest, but Ignis Scientitia. He rose, from he chair and stoked the fire as the three of them sat in revered awe and shock. Multitudes of questions ran through their minds as Ignis looked onward at the fire, in a dignified manner.
    
    "I suppose I am the winner of this contest?" 
    
    The three men just nodded, still in a state of shock.
    
    Releasing a much smaller burp to remove the rest of the air inside, Ignis grinned. "Good. Now unless you plan on having a farting contest as well, which I will promptly shut down as I just did with the belching contest, I think it may be best if we grew quiet."
    
    Ignis was the belching contest champion. They couldn't deny that.
    
    With a relaxed sigh, Ignis returned to his chair, and a book he had been reading. "I have some tips for all of you, if you're listening."
    
    The trio tried to draw closer inconspicuously but made it just a little too obvious any way.
    
    "Gladio, you'll do better if you just stop elongating your belches until they are nothing. Let it happen naturally. That way you won't be vomiting half the time." 
    
    Shame crossed Gladio's face as he nodded and took the advice.
    
    "Noct, first learn how to swallow air. Preferably from Prompto." Ignis directed side-eye to Gladio. "Start from there. You won't be painfully bloated the next this happens. From there on, how you burp is your idea."
    
    Noctis gave nods to the advice. Already the swirling soda in his stomach him feel uncomfortable. While he knew it was impossible, he thought he had swelled and jiggled a little when he walked.
    
    "As for you Prompto..."
    
    "Yes?" That usual meekness of Prompto's returned.
    
    "Carry on. I'm sure you've taught yourself a lot. You're pretty good. Could even best me."
    
    "Want to make that a challenge Iggy?" Prompto felt proud with the compliment from Iggy.
    
    A little, boyish smile made it's way across Ignis' face. "Maybe later Prompto."
    
    The rest of the night was quiet, the air filled with the settled, newfound respect for Ignis and his talents.


End file.
